Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Chicks dig jerks, even science says so

Science says nice guys don't get the girl. In other news, the pope is Catholic...

Here’s a novel dating strategy to try: Keep your mouth shut!
Turns out, women are less attracted to men who seem too caring on a first date, according to research in thePersonality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
In the study, women were less likely to want to sleep with male acquaintances who expressed concern when they opened up than with men who were less emotionally responsive.
It’s another case of nice guys finishing last. “The ‘too-nice stranger’ may come across as desperate,” says lead study author Gurit Birnbaum, Ph.D., a lecturer at the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya in Israel.
Allow me to let you in on a secret from my former life gentlemen: when women say they don't like assholes, they're not lying. They're failing to make a distinction. What they mean is they don't like assholes who care. Nobody likes the sneering jerk who lashes out everyone because he's been hurt in the past. Everyone senses that he's emotionally wounded. Women love aloof, charming assholes who don't care. In other words, they love the man who is so confident and focused on his mission that he is outcome independent in his interactions with women. If one girl shoots him down, he cares not a rats hind quarters because there are thousands more just like her for the taking. He thinks of himself as the prize that she must earn, not the other way around. No matter what they may say to the contrary, no woman wants to be the number one focus in a man's life. The correct attitude to take is to stop caring so much about others feelings. Not because their feelings are unimportant but because we have no control over them. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of emotional commitment. We look on female sluts with disgust and contempt. The male equivalent of the slut is not the cad who sleeps with a lot of women, but the whiny effeminate guy who's always ready to act as her emotional tampon (BETA in Roissy's terminology, a Gamma in Vox's language.)

"You'll find love when you least expect it," has a kernel of truth to it. It seems paradoxical but I became much more successful with women when I stopped caring whether I ever found one and focused on my mission in life. The more ruthlessly I teased (negged) girls, the more popular I became.

h/t/ Roissy

1 comment:

  1. So far you put this idea into the best words, or at least better than what I have read on this topic from other blogs. From a woman's pov, we don't like real jerks any more than we like a leach of a man. We like a man who seems confident and happy in his own life but as we get to know him, wants to be a part of our lives. We don't want puppy dogs who *need* to be up our asses 24-7, but we aren't going to put up with some arrogant, mouthy, douche bag either.