I don’t know why or how some couples are able to settle into friendship after a divorce. I’ve certainly tried, but the results have not been good. I invited him for ice cream with the kids at the mall once, and I thought we might be crossing over into the land of friendship, but I made the fatal mistake of mentioning it.
“This is nice,” I mentioned, as our daughters were playing together in their own world. It was a little awkward, but the conversation was flowing, and much to my surprise, I realized I was actually enjoying myself a little bit. “It is,” he agreed.
“Just because we’re not married doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends,” I said. You think I’d know by now not to say such nonsense, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted a friendship not just for the kids, but also because there are parts of him that I genuinely enjoy -- I did marry him for a reason. No such luck.
He just stared at me and said, “I can’t be friends.”
“What do you mean?” I cautiously asked.
“It’s all or nothing. I can’t be just friends if I can’t have you for my wife.”
And that’s basically it right there. The fundamental personality differences that made it impossible for us to have a mutually satisfying long-term marriage are now making it incredibly difficult for us to have any semblance of friendship, no matter how superficial.Well, let's think about this Ms. Erikson. You frivolously blew up your own family and you then had the gall to get angry at your pastor for spoiling the surprise you were going to spring on your husband. Did you really expect him to stick around and be your emotional tampon? Good on Leif for shooting you down. He apparently shocked you enough to write an entire column about it. It's a pity he didn't call you on your bullshit soon enough to save your marriage, but when it comes to rejecting feminism, better late than never.
h/t: Sunshine Mary