Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I demand satisfaction, signore

Michael Z. Williamson addresses the great moral question of our time:
Dear United Nations: I note with approval that there's a bill before the US Congress to compensate African Americans for their mistreatment in the past. However, I was talking to a Russian Jewish friend of mine, and it occurred to me that her ancestors were slaves to Nubian Africans. Should she not be compensated also?
 The Jews were also repressed by the Romans, forerunners of the modern Italians. But the Romans were subjugated by the Celts in 390BC. The Romans returned the favor, and then oppressed Christians as well, before becoming Christians themselves and forcibly converting the Pagan Celts. Later Christianized Celts were oppressed by other Christianized Romans, and the two combined, which is where we come to the African issue. However, certain Africans enslaved other Africans, so perhaps the Central African Republic should be footing part of the bill...
Ever since I was old enough to read history, I have publicly requested - nay, demanded - that the Italian government pay me reparations for waging war on my savage Germanic ancestors. No justice, no peace.

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