Drudge via Time has picked up Jenny Bahn’s piece at XO Jane 30 Is the New 50: “Old Age” is Killing My Dating Life. What is fascinating is that while Bahn has stumbled on the painful truth, she still can’t fully connect the dots regarding her own choices. She can’t see that the young women she is unable to compete against are the younger version of herself. They don’t want to settle down now, but give them a decade and they will be singing the same song Bahn is singing now, complaining that men don’t want to commit. What is wrong with men?It's an old story: party girl parties hard all throughout her twenties; prioritizes career over marriage; turns thirty and is shocked, shocked to learn that men her age are pursuing younger women for love and marriage; writes an article wondering what's wrong with men; fails to make the connection with her own choices in life. If Ms. Bahn really believes that men are looking for women who are volatile, ball busting, hen pecking drama queens then she clearly smoked too many illegal substances during her years of carousel riding.
It’s this logic that has most of my 30-something guy friends dating girls fresh out of college. Girls who, in my experience, are less impressive, less striving, less volatile, less successful, less intimidating, less questioning, less pressing, less complex, less damaged, less opinionated, less powerful, less womanly. They are less, and, to a guy not ready for anything — like most of the guys I have dated in New York — less is more.
A 30-year-old woman is an undertaking…
Feminism essentially encourages women to behave like men, but balks at allowing women to suffer the consequences of their own bad decisions. It's not Ms. Bahn's fault that she's now a single, grouchy, damaged thirty something. It's men's fault. Somehow.
If I ever get married, I would never marry a woman my age. Not a chance in hell. 25 or below, or nothing. On the bright side, marriage minded girls under the age of 25 have probably never had it easier. Popular wisdom gets it backwards: by and large it's men who are the hopeless romantics and women who are ruthlessly pragmatic about relationships.