Dating is done. Seriously, who goes on dates anymore? It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink and getting down. I think I’m the only single guy I know that actually takes a girl out to a restaurant on a first date. There’s a reason for this.I know what that reason is, though I suspect he doesn't.
If you take a girl out and show her you’re more than some douche looking to just get in her pants, odds are, you’re going to get a second date, at least. Call me old fashioned, but a nice dinner is worth the money to get to know someone to some extent.I've never found dinner to be a good venue for a first date. You spend a lot of the time chewing food. A better way to get to know her on a first date is take her out for either coffee or adult beverages.
For me, it’s not about the money, and I get why people are stingy when it comes to going out with people they don’t know. Look, I get it. Sh*t costs money. But really, what’s the difference? Treat yourself to a good meal, and if the company is good, why the hell wouldn’t you take a girl out to a nice dinner?
All I know is, the more I look around, the less I see men treating women the way that we’re raised to. What happened to paying for dinners and drinks? What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors? What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that sh*t?Articles like these always presuppose that men just spontaneously decided to stop being chivalrous out of the clear blue sky. The more reasonable, and more accurate, explanation is that most men are responding to how women behave in the 21st century.
The real problem here is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.Women are "allowing" men to get away with this. As if they're our mothers instead of women in whom we are romantically and sexually interested. If you're looking for neither a girlfriend nor a wife, and you're not a cad looking to get into her pants, then you're just another one of her beta orbiters, one of her court eunuchs.
We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers. I’m not looking for a girlfriend, nor am I looking for a wife.
Eventually, I feel that women will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve, the things used to be automatic and expected of men, like holding a door, pulling out a chair, and paying for dinners.If men can get sex just by doing the bare minimum, then why the hell would they put in more effort? It used to be simple: if men wanted sex, they had to get married. If men can get sex without marrying, then they won't marry. People respond to incentives.
Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway – sex. It’s pretty obvious that women own the cards, and when they start acting like it, they’ll finally start getting dinner from places that don’t deliver.
Chivalry presupposes that 1) men and women are different, and 2) women are the weaker (fairer if you prefer) sex. Those are not popular attitudes in a 21st century feminized society. Chivalry is also a two way street: if men are expected to be gentlemen, then women are expected to be ladies. If you expect me to treat you like a lady, then you had damn well better act like a lady. If some manjawed ballbreaker presumes to be my equal in every way, and she still expects me to pay for everything, then she's just asking like an entitled princess, putting the lie to her presumption to equality.